Just a thought that came to mind...

Ever thought of where or how the word "tired" came about?

Hmmm...maybe "tired" came from "tried", caz you keep trying so many times that you get tired of trying...hmmm....maybe they are really related?!

Well, but that doesn't mean that we should stop trying caz success only comes to those who never give up but just make sure that whatever u are trying at is worth the shot! Like if you are trying to fly around like superman, or to do something morally wrong then maybe you can stop trying...

Just a though...pls don't quote me....hehe

9th oct thursday: chilly plus rain equals really cold

Had school the whole day as usual. The school has developed a special plan of counseling teachers for all of us, whereby, we are divided into groups of 4 students to be attached to a teacher who is a doctor at the hospital. Some of them are not just teachers; they can be the president of the hospital, the president of the school, the vice-president of the hospital or the head of some department with credits, projects, papers and external positions that would make your jaw drop. So my teacher is the vice-president of the hospital and is apparently award-winner and some prominent person in TCM research in cerebral conditions, in short, research in TM for brain-related conditions.

So we met the teacher today to have a discussion session with him on topics like stroke and idiotism and this was already the third attempt to meet up for the discussion and it was really scary. I researched online for related data which was rather little as I ahad to register to be member or had to buy the books. It was even scarier when we got to the discussion room. There was our teacher, with 2 other doctors, 3 other students, all of which are under him and we would be having the discussion together. Tho the discussion was just introductory but he wanted us to all comment individually. Scary!! Then he was saying they will all take turns to present on related topics for the first year and next year when we know our stuff better, we have to do the presentation. Super scary!!

Went to mac to save the money spent at starbucks. Caz my bf was nagging at my large expanses and that I should cut back on my expanses. So now the resolution is to only go starbucks on the weekends or when I have the whole day free to make my coffee purchase worth the money.

K then…

10th oct Friday: chily

Went to collect my passport in the morning and then had school in the afternoon.
After school, a couple of my classmates wanted to go drink and buy tea from that shop again so I tagged along and also to buy some tea for my bf’s family in case I go to his place this weekend or something. Cant possibly not bring anything every time right. And I certainly watched the amount of tea I drink in case I were to be drunk on tea again moreover I didn’t have a very filling lunch.

Wanted to go mac or something as it was pretty chilly but decided that I should try to be at home to try how it will be like. So the plan was to bath, make the da hong bao tea I bought for myself and eat grapes. But it was still pretty chilly and had to keep reheating the water bag several times to warm my hands and feet. I tried on-ing the air-con to blow 30 degrees air but I think it helped only superficially. drates...

8 oct, Wednesday: crazy weather fluctuations

Today has been boring. Went to starbucks since early afternoon as we don’t have Wednesday afternoon classes. Wanted to study and do homework but was so sleepy and unproductive until much later in the evening….the only interesting changes were that meixiu came to say hi and tiffany was there for a coffee. I actually didn’t realize she came in and was sitting at the table diagonally across mine.

My bf nagged at me about my expenditure at starbucks, asking me to also put into an action plan to spend less which means saving more. Ok, so now I will only go starbucks on the weekends or when I have the whole day/large majority of the day free and will only buy 1 drink there each time. And I will eat the school food although I always think it don’t really taste that nice.

As much as I really miss home, I am glad that I am the kind of person that wakes up with new energy every morning with new positiveness that helps me get over unhappy stuff. The jinhui that many of my friends know is a forgetful Jinhui at times and sometimes I think that this is a good thing. Well, during those reflections or the past kinda conversations that I have with my NPCC/ secondary school friends, there are many times when they said “Don’t you remember….”, “you were the one…”, “That time you…” but many of the times I don’t remember.

My English is horrible by any kind of standard and I used to go for General Paper(GP) tuition when I was in Junior college. Well, the GP back then was just made of 2 components, a essay and a comprehension. Well, I certainly needed help on the essay as it the argumentative essay kind. I really like going to tuition as I think the tutor was really nice and a fun guy who have been travelling around for some time before coming to teach us and he would sometimes talk about his cat, his experiences travelling in India and several other places in the world. There were only a few students in class and sometimes we will try to gang up and force an opinion of him on him. Sometimes it would be things like he likes to live in denial etc.

There was once, there was this conversation about the lethargy of time, like how a old post card or a photo that has turned yellow can bring back a unique, personal, sentimental feeling to it as compared to a perfectly preserved original photo in its original rich color. I certainly agree with him in terms of the beauty of time being forgotten. I think it ain’t so nice to remember every single detail in life, good and bad, happy and sad, right, wrong, neither right nor wrong because that’s not the way the brain works. Things of the past always brings back found memories, but that also depends on whether you are the kind that tend to remember the happier of the sadder stuff.

Experiences and the memories from these experiences make a person unique. Here I am in a foreign land and am grateful for all the fond memories that has been perfected by the “blur” of time that keeps me company whenever I miss the people and things back home.

bored and lonely

I can't believe this...

But when I am bored and lonely and my mind starts to wonder when I am at starbucks, I actually, on several occasions, open microsoft words and started typing out the conversation between the 2 sides of the brain. what the left would say and what the right would follow up with...weird right? Of course in the end, I would just close the document without saving....

7th october, Wednesday: chilly, about 10 degree celcius

This morning, my group didn’t have classes so I was actually intending to wake up earlier to do the cleaning and the mopping that I was suppose to d yesterday but didn’t. woke at about 10 plus mainly due to some weird concert or event happening downstairs of my immediate neighborhood or yuan the people here call it and they were blasting Chinese songs, the disco remixes of one night in Beijing and it doesn’t sound nice at all and I think playing the melody only would have been better.

Had instant bowl noodle and canned luncheon meat for lunch and I was already running late for
school. I quickly packed everything and the instant noodles into a plastic to be thrown, stepped out of the house, and then realize there was a sudden feeling of warmth on my knees. Damn! The plastic bag leaked and it was dripping on the floor, on my shoes and jeans. Damn! So I hurried in and grabbed the toilet roll to wipe off whatever I can and get extra layers of plastic bag to throw the rubbish. Damn! There goes my plan to only wash clothes once a week as I would need to get to the jeans and the shoes tonight! And of course I was late for school!

I hate it when the left and the right brain inside me fights or one house of thought fights with another in my head. Well,there is a part of me that wants to be miss lone ranger because I think everything is easier that way and I don’t have to give or take anything much since I am I. but the society doesn’t work this way so there are times that I also want to be part of a group but yet again I am not the very group kinda person and at least there isn’t a group that I can join or can spot potential members to start this group. Frustrating! This need for company and this want to be lone ranger. Stressing and vexing!!!

Then I an again at starbucks and although the marble cheese cake has been there all the while or at least I think it has always been on sale. But I only took real not of it today and was reminded of my friend wei xiang when we shared a marble cheese cake from Secret Recipe at Plaza Sing. Haven’t seen him in a long long time and only chatted with him once a few weeks ago, in the past half year. Sigh… And if you are friends and family that I have in Singapore, rest assured that I miss u guys! And no I am not kidding.

6th October, Monday, chilly:

What luck! Serene knocked on my door this morning and it was 730am. School starts at 8am. Damn…it was a mad rush. Serene didn’t have lessons this morning as her group has having the self revision slot this morning. It is hands-on lessons this few days. Again, I took the trishaw to school and was just in the nick of time before my group people left for the classroom. We had physical examination this morning, learning how to locate the perimeters of the heart by tapping and also listened to the dummy’s heart best to reflect the different types of heart beat described in the textbook. When I left home this morning I left my water bottle int eh room and was dying of thirst.

This comes the exciting part. During lunch time, which was 2 hours, I tried to call home to get serene to bring my water bottle for me when she comes for the afternoon class but in the end, I borrowed mei xiu’s bicycle to cycle home. I bought yang zhou fried rice and was on my way home and the ride was crazy. The seat of he mountain bike was so high I had difficulties getting on and the fact is that meixiu is shorter than me!! With my butt on the seat, I was barely tipping toe and it was really scary cycling around like that knowing that you have difficulty getting up and then which was when I need to cross the road at the pedestrian crossing. It was definitely a tiring ride back and forth! Scary!!!

In the afternoon, our hands on session was actually to go see the equipments used for some blood test/antibodies test machines and although we were standing in the room. I was really starting to feel sleepy and although I am in front of the teacher, my eyes wanted to close so much that by keeping them open, it was actually painful and I could feel my eyes crossing! But amazingly, the lesson was only for barely more than an hour and we were released!! Yeah caz the usual lesson is actually 4 hours!!

So a couple of us decided that we would go have try some tea at the shop nearby which one of my classmate’s father always buys from. When we were there, the owner, a young man, definitely less than 30 was really hospitable and although his place was small, he got chairs for all of us and started making for us teas of all sorts, tei guan yin, da hong ye, pu er cha etc etc. and I didn’t know but after some time I was starting to feel as lethargic as I was in class and warm. I was actually drunk on tea!!! Man….I didn’t know one can get drunk or high on tea, certainly, I didn’t know I was capable to get high on tea!!! my face was really red like when I were to take alcohol! In the end, I got some da hong ye and jasmine tea, a mug to make the tea and 2 mini tea cups. I believe he gave us a super big discount as he only charge me 65RMB! Apparently, another classmate who bought from him 300 bucks worth of tea during lunch time was only charged 100RMB!!! All of us bought something.

The night was really chilly and I decided to try my luck at Carrefour for electrical mats for the bed and electrical water bag which I managed to find with some help. Apparently, the staff in Carrefour here is not very friendly or helpful unless u are asking for their product or a similar product of another brand. And the rest of the what is left of the evening was spent in starbucks. Yes, I know, starbucks again but I can assure you it is much warmer then outside and certainly much warmer than my house! K then,,,,,

That’s it for now…catch up again tml

5th october, Sunday: raining/morning, chilly/day

The day got to a sudden start when serene knocked on my door and it was 7.45am when we were suppose to meet another 2 classmates at the mrt at 8am to go the international church. It was a mad rush and we got into the trishaw to get us to the mrt station which is abt 15mins walk from our place.

It was crazily cold as it was drizzling and the wind was strong and chilly. Didn’t have an umbrella with me but again my PL jacket kept me from the rain but not the cold. Went to the Chinese session and it was much better the English one although not too sure if we want to continue to find a church. The weather continued even after the service on our way home and when we were walking by the road, the drizzle was light enough for serene to use her umbrella to block the wind only but it was still chilly.

Had lunch at mac and spent the rest of the day at starbucks. Wanted to study but ended up catching up online with a lot of old friends from JC times and beyond. For the first time I met someone I know at starbucks, Xiaoqi. Well, she’s my classmate and lives near my place but yet again, there are so many people that actually live near my place but I have never seen them at starbucks when I was here. I was actually looking out the glass panel when I saw in the reflection of the glass panel, a girl of that height, carrying a Carrefour bag and a familiar mini Coach waist sling bag so I turned around and waved at her. She was here to get a hot drink before heading home from Carrefour. Had my favourite jiao zi and tried another brand of china beer for dinner.

The night was simple by skyping with my family and then with my bf. I skype my my bf every night if we are both not too tired but would still try to skype for at least a while. Or if either of us are too tired then we would just call on the phone. He’s still looking for a place to stay and putting up at mine which makes it possible for his laptop to latch-onto the wireless at home as the M1 vodafone plane that I got him was freaking slow and they insisted that I personally go upgrade and sign the papers to upgrade. The Vodafone is not doing anything now and we have to mintain it for 6 months or pay penalty fee?? Sucks rite!!
That’s all for today.

4th oct and theo

Friday, 4th october: chilly/windy

Having only slept at around 5am in an attempt to study, I only woke up at about 2pm. I am the kind that can get more things done and better in the wee hours of the night and the fact that at home can be noisy sometimes is really not as comforting. That’s is also part of the reason why I would stay at starbucks till closing and 11pm as by the time I get home, they would be doing their own things and probably bathing. Talking about bathing, it really sucks sometimes that there is only one toilet in the house so we have to take turns whether it is to bath or wash up. The troublesome part being that you can’t use the toilet when there is someone bathing. Well, I guess we just have to get used to it.

So I was at starbucks the whole of yesterday. Jinhui does weird and silly stuff. You see, as I was seated on the high chair and then the sofa seats later. While seated on the high seat, I was doing the not so important stuff like blogging and surfing the internet for some home news and the milk scandal. Looking at the milk scandal, I kinda miss Singapore a little more as I knew our super strict government would have a lot of measures at hand. I am sure the Chinese government is also doing a lot of which I may not be very well informed but I just think that I may feel much safer in Singapore. Certainly simple precautions measures can be taken like avoiding the milk products or any products that may contain milk but it really sucks don’t you think so? For there to be such a need to scrutinize the ingredient list and manufacturing country? Then when I changed over to the sofa seat, after a while I wanted to start studying and was fambling my whole bag for my pencil case and couldn’t find it although I remember bringing it out of the house with me. So in the end, I just have to study without my any writing material to practice on the spelling of the words. Then at around 11pm when I was packing to leave, then I saw that I actually dropped my pencil case to the side of the sofa, the side between the sofa and the glass window plane. Silly me…sigh…

Then it was raining and drizzling the whole of the 2nd half of yesterday and I didn’t have un umbrella with me. So when it was time to go I packed my stuff and wore my PL jacket which fended off some of the wind. Then as I was walking in the drizzle and chill wind of the night, I was reminded of the times when I was at my sec 3 NPCC Area 2 (PLMGSS, Serangoon Garden sec schl, De Yi sec schl and a few others that I can’t remember) camp in Pula Ubin.

Back then, the new facilities wasn’t ready yet and camps were just trekking in the semi-wild the whole day. On the second day, we left our campsite shortly after breakfast and was out trekking the whole day till night. It was the last night so there would be a campfire and we at the most northern part of the island that was the nearest to Malaysia(we could see Malaysia just across not ver far away) and this place would only be known to the campers as it was not a developed area but had forest around it…but again, there is a lot of forest in pulua ubin :P when we were having our campfire, it was quite evident that there was a huge dark cloud coming from Malaysia’s sky towards us and the campfire was interrupted abruptly by the sudden downpour from the heavens. So we all scrambled and got into rows of pairs to be led back to the camp site by the NCOs. After some discussion, we were all abruptly led into the pitch darkness that we couldn’t even see a finger ahead of us. I had my PL jacket with me the whole day and was wearing it then.

When we took a short break ouside the toilet or something, I saw that Theodora, a enemy turned friend but was still not on very good terms yet, was all drenched and I couldn’t remember very clearly if she was feeling sick that day already or something(need some help here) and so I offered her my jacket. Although she was already wet and by lending her my jacket I will eventually be wet too, I think it would still help in a way or another, at least to block out some of the wind….so when I was walking home I was thinking of Theodora and the NPCC times.

There is so much that I can remember from those days although I believe I played a backdrop most of the time and was sometimes the stubborn one that will not barge in quarrels. I certainly miss those times. I remembered I lend one of them(not so nice to say who) my underwear that night as most of the people actually left their tent doors opened and their bags won’t water-proof and all their clothes got wet. My clothes were dry as I place them in the NTUC plastic bag before putting it in my bag which was wet. We concluded on the spot that she should throw it after she has used it. OH MY…SO MUCH MEMORIES!!!!

sigh...gota go...didn't know that I can or would actually miss home. It's not Singapore that I miss, though I certainly miss the weather, cleanliness and security but I miss the people around me. As you can see, the Jinhui here doesn't have much people to rely on as yet, except for her classmates. I miss making friends and having friends (of course I have a couple here) but being in a foreign land, though I wana be friendly and can be friendly, I gota maintain on high defence and alert mood which is kinda tiring because that isn't me. So I would rather take the simplier alternative out by just not being friendly, like the chinese saying of "having gold in the mouth" kinda quiet and backdrop.

sigh.....